stories in our heads
An executive coaching client, who already owns a successful business and is embarking on a new, nationally-focused career in media, remarked that he knows he’s too animated when he talks. “Who told you that?” I asked.
His family of origin, of course. As families sometimes do, they uncovered non-existent flaws, turned them into horrific boulders, and reminded him to carry those boulders around wherever he ventured in life. Now over forty, he believes this is something to be fixed.
I observed his natural ability to converse with people, his curiosity about their lives and how that fueled his engagement, and the energy he draws being with other humans. He was less animated than many professionals in media; though, I guessed, more animated than his family.
Some stories about ourselves we have had in our heads since childhood, and we don’t question where they came from or whether they are even true. Even when the evidence of one’s life does not support the story, we embrace it like a birthmark.
Our head-stories should be examined. Some must be re-written so we can be free to grow into our better selves.
“Our head-stories should be examined. Some must be re-written so we can be free to grow into our better selves.”